THE GENDER WAR: A CHANGE OF CAPTAINCY, WILL IT HELP?

“Women have served all these centuries as looking glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man at twice its natural size.”

― Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own

Photo by Lucxama Sylvain from Pexels

Woman and man! What is it that makes a considerable number of us view each other with such contempt, such mistrust, and such anger? Is it possible that men are being that thing that defines them physically, and just don’t want to listen?

A man and a woman meet up at some joint. They enjoy each other’s company. Overtures, we assume are exchanged. A consenting understanding is arrived at and for us as outsiders; the rest is none of our business. I mean they are grown-ups. Whatever happens after an understanding is reached would probably have remained just that – none of our business. But something unexpected happens. The woman succumbs to unexplainable injuries…

I was watching a video once. It spoke of the thin line between advocating for an issue, vis-à-vis what may be termed as subjective criticism against the same. It’s the clamor to buy Kenya, build Kenya but at the same time rubbishing the product for its “low quality”.

Everyone has the right to express their opinion. What individuals fail to understand is that a right does not exist in a vacuum. Rights and duties go side by side. They are two sides of the same coin. You have the right to life, but it is the duty of others to respect your life and not cause any harm to you.

So, back to the man, the woman and unexplainable injuries…

In the advent of social media, every Tom, Betty, Dick, Sally, Jane, and Harry has a platform to shout their opinions from the mountain-top. Shout, yes it is your right, but as you do so don’t forget your duty to take the other person’s feelings, circumstances, reasoning, history among other factors into consideration. This has to be done before spewing out unconsidered, narrow-minded, selfish statements; utterances that may aggrieve. Remarks that may cause another person to feel less, unimportant, assumed, meaningless, petty even…

On social media (and generally in life as it is), there were differing opinions about the individuals in question. Some were of the opinion that the lady brought the alleged attack on herself. She was a walking, talking billboard of sexual connotation, advances, and innuendo. Others argued that even with an actual billboard, the ultimate decision on whether to partake of a product lies with the individual being advertised to (if that was the case). The man MAKES the DECISION. So, how then is it the responsibility of the ‘billboard’ on the actions of the partaking of the product?

Remember the Malboro man? Do you blame him for having a habit of smoking? Oh! I know, held a gun to your mother’s head threatening to blow her brains out if you didn’t pick the habit…

Just  classic, blame everyone else except yourself.

Other arguments still view women as inferior to men, therefore having no actual rights. Hence, having no rights, the particular outcome of any abuse to a woman is of no consequence to the man. Alternatively, there are arguments that a woman has rights and can exercise them as she wishes. She can lead a man on, but at the point just before sex, if she says no, it’s no. It could be for WHATEVER reason (you unbuttoned your shirt wrong, you have a torn left sock, your manhood could be tiny – God forbid!). But her decision should be respected.

Being pissed for the man is an understatement of awesome proportions at this point. But still – RESPECT and ACCEPT the lady’s choice. Live to sweet-talk another day, get a new pair of socks, be creative…

The arguments for and against the respect, acknowledgment, rights of women have been as old as time. The question is why haven’t things changed? I think the answer is that man hasn’t changed. And this is the penis bearing type, not the general type used to refer to both male and female.

So, man just don’t wanna listen. He’s been at the head of the table for eons. But circumstances are changing, the tables are turning, and he just doesn’t know what to do. So, he’s acting out (yes he is)… I think he’s lucky nonetheless; women just want recognition, respect, acknowledgment, equality, equity… And you’d think it isn’t too much to ask for. But noooo! Penis-wielding man is being a dick about it (as always). Coming up with unfounded arguments and statements like: she was asking for ‘it’ (whatever ‘it’ was), she can’t do the job because she’s a woman, I (man) bought her dinner and drinks, she slept her way to the top, what will happen to her position when she’s pregnant and goes for maternity leave and the excuses are endless.

If man just considered that what women want is to be seen as, looked at, and referred to as man’s complementary and in a respectful manner, life would be a cool breeze on a hot summer day. Woman doesn’t want to be a competitor, she isn’t property, and her only purpose in life isn’t to fulfill man’s needs. She wants to live as she chooses. She wants control over her body, to express herself as she pleases, give birth when she chooses, fuck whomever, work like a horse to fulfill her dreams, marry the true love of her life, go to school and so, so, so much more. She wants all these things without being judged on how she isn’t meant to do this or that because that’s not the way, or women aren’t supposed to do that, or what will people say…

She is tired! And has been for a long long time…

So, men, how do we fix this? How do we get to make us to respect woman?

When we look and interact with her, let us not see a woman, but a HUMAN BEING. Don’t look at her and respect her because she is your mother, grandmother, your wife, your barmaid, daughter, niece, your lover, the woman who sells you vegetables, and a whole host of women you have a direct relationship with. No! You respect ALL WOMEN simply because they are human beings and they deserve your respect.

If one of them was dressed in a manner you feel wasn’t respectable, or spoke to you out of tone, or drunk all your money and didn’t have sex with you or you feel was promoted because she slept with the boss, etc… Talk to her, not at her. Have a CONVERSATION WITH her, LISTEN (I mean really listen to her) to what she tells you. Do not impose your opinion on her. Try to convince her by force of reason, not through reason of force. Also, be open to agreeing to disagree. Besides she is entitled to live her choice and who knows, you just might be convinced to see things her way.

Will it be easy? Hell no! But in every instance, always take a pause, try and really, really, I mean really see things from the other person’s point of view. Does it make sense? Is one or a couple of incidences being used as an excuse to give a blanket conclusion for all similar situations? And when we men (dick guys), come up against instances where women are being disrespected by other dick-bearing individuals, we have a responsibility. We MUST speak out and let those men know that that is no way to treat a woman; they are human beings and hence are deserving of respect, regardless.

 “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”

― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

MY HOPE TO KEEP SHINING

“No one can save a person from his or her thoughts and deeds except oneself. We can reach for particles of light to escape our dark chambers or continue to live with an inky soul. We make the choices that become our destiny.” 

 ― Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

Behind door number 76, the sun, struggling to shine…  

Behind door number 56, a planet, one without form and void…

Behind door number 37, a thriving, lush, beautiful, and balanced world full of Hope…

Behind door number 29, a dying planet, struggling to stay alive, with scattered wilted shrubs, waiting for the inevitable gust of wind to rip them from the ground and carry them off to barrenness…

Image by @Pixabay

From where I float, I see everything: the desolate, the lush, the dry, the wet, the good, the bad, and the ugly. The balanced, unbalanced, and all in between, I see it. Over the years, I have come to the conclusion that as much as it is important to observe ones environment, self-analysis is most essential.  

Have you ever visited a well-maintained city park? It’s not the wilderness, not the Serengeti, or Kruger, or even Ngorongoro where things just grow. And even there, a balance is maintained, somehow. In the city parks, there’s weeding, trimming, and pruning of trees and shrubs, plus mowing of the lawn and so on. And this is just what you can see. There’s a load of stuff going on behind the curtains. Worms in the soil aerating it, flies pollinating flowers, ants and birds helping with the biodiversity of the ecosystem, etc.

As long as the balance is maintained, the beauty is dazzling. Birds chirp, flowers bloom, trees grow, children play, animals live, the wheel of life keeps on turning. From the dust, we come forth, live, and to the dust, we shall return.

A well balanced environment with its Vegetation offers pieces of serenity in the middle of concrete jungles; I get to experience green heavens amid stony urban hells. All this took the sweat and toil of important players and the grounded support and nurture from Mother Earth’s bosom.

Beauty, tranquility, resilience, or devastation, bleakness or death, and their spread or not, do not occur in a vacuum. They are designed to happen. It may be defined as planned or accidental, but the efforts of the different players necessitate the coming to realization of whatever that outcome may be.

Sometimes I ask myself from this far off, do I really make a difference? Then I experience her stretched arms, reaching for my warmth, grounded in her Mother’s strength and those around her. And so far, from where I am, the beauty of the green is dazzling, the twining of the creepers, creative, the sturdiness of the trunks, firm, the spread of the grass, thick and vast, and all this balance and much more, unmistakable.

Ever wonder how it would sound if we’d be saying, “Father Earth”? The words can hardly roll off my tongue. It’s like something is off. Maybe men would be the feminine gender? Giving birth, having breasts, no beards, soft voices, wide hips… It would have been something, wouldn’t it? But it isn’t, life is as we know it and the Earth is Mother. Thank God!

She’s been around for billions of years and since the beginning of time, she has shown her strength, her resilience, her kindness, her nurture, her caring and provision, and yes, in all this, her beauty as well in its various forms. In the most desolate of environments, Mother Earth still has been able to bring forth and sustain life. Hot deserts, cold ones, in the depths of the waters and the summits of mountains, there is life in one form or another. Despite man’s meddling in the normal order of things, trying and testing her to her limits, Mother Earth has still been able to claw her way back. And she has come back again, and again, and again, countless number of times. She has prevailed and her orbit is steady.

But we must never take her spirit for granted. We must never allow for the light of her beauty, strength, and nurture to be extinguished. It may dim, but we cannot allow for it to go off.

In this intricate web called life, Mother Earth sustains legions of what I’d call her inhabitants. A myriad of cells: living, non-living, simple, complex, and others unknown. All held in her loving bosom. Foxes, the Maji-Maji Rebellion, elephants, atomic bombs, snakes, lions, Al-Qaeda, factories, monkeys, rats, trees, ants, humans, and whatever else he can come up with or discover (the list is endless).

Then I come in – The Sun.

My destiny to an extent can be defined by this mix of organisms. I don’t just shine because I was meant to. Yes, that is part of it, but the web is an intricate one of different acts that define who and what I am. Who and what others are. Definition is liquid and dependant on community as much as it does depend on self. All have the potential to be everything, something and nothing, be it the right thing or the wrong thing. It might have begun at door 56. Lasted there for a few seasons (or many) and then moved on to door 76, then 37, then door 29, and who knows in the future, door 76 might be re-opened or any other door for that matter. The doors and what lies behind them, only the person opening will be able to tell and define what they will be.

So, if definition is liquid, are we then wholly relegating the Sun’s desires, to the efforts or influences of others? I don’t think so, it wouldn’t be fair. As the Sun, I have my own will, purpose, and determination. It may feel restraining in the continual questioning of my potential despite being up there with the stars. Sometimes I do not see the endless possibilities, being a star myself. But part of the universe closest to me keeps reminding me of my capacity to achieve. The everyday warmth and light shed on all. Someone wise once said, it is borderline stupidity for one to shoot themselves even before taking hold of the gun. Then there’s confirming if the gun has bullets, and is one really willing to go through with it? There’s a whole load of psychological factors to consider and not just for the shooter, there’s those who will be left behind… but I’m losing track and I believe you get the point, if not, I will pray for you…

Moving forward, the balance is at times thrown off. Rapid deforestation, racism, poaching of wild animals, the negative effects of rapid industrialization, human inequality, corruption, war and destruction, and the list goes on. All these issues in some way contribute to how the Sun shines, how the Vegetation grows, how Mother Earth sustains that growth, the ones around them all, and their interrelation.

Like I said, intricate web of life…

In the door I am currently through, Mother Earth is providing the healthy ground with which Vegetation can and is growing lush and thriving. There is a balance with the rest of life; the intricate yet delicate web is being sustained, despite ups and downs. I, although being centered 149.6 million kilometers away, still keep shining my light as Hope grows. The beauty is dazzling and I would love to keep it that way…  

The goings-on behind other doors may not be similar. The Sun behind some doors is dead or constantly blocked by a thick mist or cloud of darkness. No light reaches the Earth and its Vegetation. Some soils do not have the capability of sustaining Vegetation, despite the flora struggling to grow; the overall factors cannot facilitate life. There are many doors with different scenarios and possibilities behind them. You could be the Sun, Saturn, Vegetation, Pluto, Rocks or Boulders, Earth, the range is wide. But whatever it is that you define yourself as, be the best, and remember that man is not an island.

“I believe that the community – in the fullest sense: a place and all its creatures – is the smallest unit of health and that to speak of the health of an isolated individual is a contradiction in terms.” 

 — Wendell Berry, The Art of the Commonplace: The Agrarian Essays

FALSE GENERALIZATIONS WITH STINGING TRUTHS

“I’m trying to hold back my emotions, but I can feel my face contorting. That strange heat moving to my cheeks. I always thought it was magic moving through me, but now I know it to be rage.” 

 ― Kim Liggett

The Badge

When pinned on someone, this is a heavy badge to wear, especially when one knows that the title does not fit them. The badge is clearly not one of honour and I do not wish it on my worst of enemies. But worn it must. For you, I shall let you make the choice on your own volition but will attempt to lay the facts bare as I understand them.

In wearing the badge, I do understand the questionable nature of stating that men are misogynistic. The argument may be deemed unsound if we look at the credibility of the sample survey. I mean in a world population of 7.8 billion people, viewing 50.4% of them through the same dark lens could raise an issue. Especially, how the conclusion was arrived at.

Photo by Matej from Pexels

False Perfection

Let me attempt to explain. Have you ever come into the presence of perfection? This person, I mean this person is just right. Then you notice that their clothing has the tiniest ink-blot, or there’s a scar on the back of their head, or one of their shoe-lace is untied, or when they passed by you there was an uncomfortable whiff in the air, or they didn’t smile back at you when you did. Now before this point, everything was “perfect”, everything else but that one thing. And for that one thing, the house of cards came tumbling down… the person didn’t deserve a second look, not a hallo, or another smile. How sad, maybe they were the one… We shall never know.

This is what happens when one arrives at a conclusion without considering all the relevant information. Now please allow me to insist that I am not trying to justify a situation. I am just stating that it would be proper to consider a body of information before forming an opinion, one with finality.

Stinging Truths

Initially, I had implied that viewing 3.9 billion men through the same dark lens was unfair. Isn’t the blemish just a small part of the whole and therefore condemning the whole would be a wee bit too excessive? But then again, is it? Look at the statistics. If it’s violence against women, or the economic gender gap, or education gender gap and so on, the scales are unfairly uneven towards women. They are so uneven that the Global Gender Gap Report 2020 stated that.

“None of us will see gender parity in our lifetimes, and nor likely will many of our children. That’s the sobering finding of the Global Gender Gap Report 2020, which reveals that gender parity will not be attained for 99.5 years.”

In a  McKinsey Global Institute (MGI) report in 2015, it was found that $12 trillion (the combined GDP of Japan, Germany and the United Kingdom) could be added to global GDP by 2025. How you might ask? By advancing women’s equality. Don’t just talk the talk, walk it as well. Walk it by ensuring that the public, private and social sectors act and work together to close the gender gaps in work and society.

Pretty straightforward isn’t it?

I thought so too… to the extent that the same report, stated that companies that were gender and ethnically diverse outperformed their peers. Therefore, let’s look at this from a purely business perspective. The more women there are in positions of power and influence, the better for EVERYONE. And not just positions of power and influence, but the more women work, the more economies grow.

The Scraps Table

So, why is it not happening?

I mean there it is, in black and white, bare for all to see and with the numbers to back it up. But women are still eating from the scraps table. According to a UN report, “The World’s Women 2020: Trends and Statistics”, below 50% of working-age women are in the labour market. In the past 25 years, this figure has barely changed. The report also states that women held only 28% of managerial positions globally in 2019. The figure has barely changed since 1995 – a whole 14 years. In 2020, only 18% of enterprises sampled had a female CEO. When it comes to the Fortune 500 corporations, only 7.4% or 37 CEOs were women (out of 500 companies).

In politics, women representation in parliament has doubled globally. But it has still not crossed the 25% barrier in 2020. For cabinet positions, the number has quadrupled over the last 25 years, yet remains well below the parity of 22%. In the Kenyan parliament, the two-thirds gender rule has still not been passed to an extent where the outgoing Chief Justice wrote to the President requesting him to dissolve parliament for not passing the bill into law. When it comes to women representation, Rwanda leads regionally and globally with 61%, Tanzania and Burundi 36%, Uganda 34%, South Sudan 28.5% and Kenya lags behind at 23.5%.

Therefore…

These findings cannot be nullified. Economists will tell you with equality, efficiency is not far behind. There is a direct correlation. In all instances where the gender gap from whatever angle one views it from has been bridged, the economy and society in general benefits.

So the problem then seems to be more of a social one. Our understanding, men’s understanding of who women are and their place in society from our own upbringing, personal prejudices and so on has caused us to fuck shit up! And even now, with all the information that disproves men’s thinking of women, we still want to live in the past, stuck in our way of thinking and our prejudices. It baffles me.

Women are so much more than this individual one places in a box. She could be a doctor, an engineer, a singer, an astronaut, a lawyer, a mother…but she will be seen as a woman, just woman. There was a TV interview in the 1960s, a gentleman was asked about what he has that he cherishes the most, and he answered, his horse, three dogs and his wife. The interviewer asked him to reconsider his pecking order and the man was adamant and insisted that he loves his horse very much. His wife immediately got up and walked off the stage.

The Breaking Point

Now there are good men out there, but the rot seems to have spread to all the apples in the basket – all 3.9 billion of them. Or has it? Is this the case of the “perfect” person with an ink-blot on their clothing and therefore for this reason not deserving a second look?

So, maybe by wearing this badge of dishonour, the good men, the real men will feel the pinch, the bite, the incessant tearing into their conscience to constantly work at proving to themselves and others that they are no rapist, not violent to other human beings and are not close-minded misogynistic assholes. Because, when their children look at them, they will see the respect that they as fathers show their mothers. And even if disagreements do crop up, they aren’t based on the fact that her mothers are women. Or when men speak to the barmaids, they will respect them as fellow human beings working to put food on their table and not women with an agenda to loot from the men. And each interaction between a man and a woman, I will take in its individuality and never generalized to all women simply because it happened between two individuals.

If men (forgive me for the generalization, but we made our own bed) continue along this close-minded path, only death and destruction awaits us all. Therefore, the choices men make now on how we relate to, think of and act towards women will define our humanity as we know it.

I have made the right choice. Don’t take too long to do the right thing.

…The whole world sitting on a ticking bomb

The sun may never rise again

The sun may never rise again

The sun may never rise again

 The question ain’t if but when

 The sea will mourn, the sky will fall

 The sun may never rise again

 The silent war has begun

 We’re staring down a loaded gun

 No refuge found no solid ground

 Assuming race can’t be won

 Don’t wait to say goodbye, you’re running out of time

 Whatever you believe, it’s easy to see

The whole world sitting on a ticking bomb…

― Aloe Blacc

DAGOZ – THE CHORDS, THE KEYS, THE LOVE

“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent”

― Victor Hugo

 

Have you ever experienced love in its pure form?

 

I’m not talking about during coitus, and your partner says those three words. I’m speaking of deep, sensual, intimate love. Like when two souls meet in their raw, natural, unadulterated form when everything is just right. If you have experienced this, then the light of the gods shines on you and their favour glows warmly within you. I say this because not everyone experiences this in their lifetime.

 

Before you get carried away thinking that this is one of those sex blogs telling you how to increase your libido, get your penis to grow larger (as if that does it for better lovemaking), perform for much longer etc.

 

Sorry, it isn’t…

 

I guess the next paragraph will be the deal maker or breaker, so here goes…

 

There’s this ‘gem in the rough’ kind of place. The reason I refer to it as such shall be apparent soon enough.

 

What happens there is that music is made, it is created, like when the ‘word’ was uttered, and life came into being. And when one sees the passion with which this creativity is shared with the world… it is possible for an individual to experience ‘orgasm’. Ecstasy ceases to be a pill, it becomes familiarity.

 

There is a most intimate synergy, first between the artists on stage. This is evident especially on the open mic nights – Thursdays & Sundays.

They could be individuals who have never jammed together before, but on stage, the unexplainable occurs.

 

Now that is between the artists on stage. On the other hand, there is what to expect from the artists as the audience. It is an experience the individual will go through as the artists do what they do best, so flawlessly, and as it seems with so much ease, one ends up feeling as though they are literally performing on stage. It is a form of bodhi that leaves you not quite the same ever again.

 

As I began, I spoke of love. I revert to this because there is no other way in which I know how to fully express myself as clearly and as understandably, as I shall attempt to in the next few…

 

In one instance, Harry Kimani was on stage. It was a Friday night & the crowd was an intimate one, as it usually is, approximately 20 or so people to begin with. It was as intimate as having Harry over at yours to perform in your living room. He told stories of how the songs he performed came about, the feelings that abounded, where he was, who he was with, what had happened at that time… He made you feel as though you were there with him when it actually happened.

 

It was like being at a pub on a loose Tuesday evening, seated at the counter & having a bartender named Sam serve you. You meet up with a bunch of splendid people, hit up a conversation & the next thing you realize is that its 3 in the morning… and you start asking yourself how you got there.

 

Here’s how…

 

Be a part of the Super Friday Question at Dagoz and make sure you come off with an answer.

Harry is a really super good performer. So, it’s Harry & his guitar on stage, an acoustic performance second to none…you need to experience it to understand it in its fullness…

 

So, towards the end of Harry’s performance, this other fellow comes up on the right side of the stage (depending on your viewpoint). He picks up the electric guitar, and straps on…

 

The guitar is upside down, so clearly he’s left-handed, that’s number one. Number two is, just then, Harry looks to his right, and their eyes lock in a gaze. Whatever communication proceeds from that locked look one cannot possibly fathom, but its product was apparent.

 

Now I knew Harry was good, I’d seen his performances before. The gentleman who had strapped on was Dave Otieno. Now I know him, I’ve heard him perform before as well. He is also better than good (…that’s a story for another day).

 

But the two of them – together?

 

Two maestros together can come up with shit or something really beautiful. No word in the English lexicon exists to explain what magic came next (maybe in Dholuo…definitely in Dholuo).

 

We come back to the experience of love. The notes, keys and chords Harry and Dave played and sung were pure unadulterated love. These two performing artists had captured the intimate crowd, we were eating from their hands. The emotions that went through my being were a thousand and one, and then some. Like I said, the experience of the whole performance has no single English word that can fully explain the beauty, the magic, the ecstasy, the love, the emotion that went into this performance.

 

Maybe a paragraph, or two, or three…

 

That experience of being with someone in your unashamed nakedness. Letting this other person feel you, touch your every inch while they gaze intensely into your eyes. At some point, it stops being physical. It becomes subliminal. It is so intense, that it is more of an out of body experience. And just from touch. Your lips haven’t met yet, your partner hasn’t moved over the length and breadth of your body yet… slowly. The hairs on the back of your neck and everywhere else have stood stiff on end, unwavering. You have a slight shiver…a tremor, a shudder even…

 

In addition to all this happening, your partner whispers into your ear, explaining to you what, why and how they are doing as they are. Asking you what they should do next and how just the way you like it. The intent here is for your bodies and souls to communicate. To be one, in the same zone…lost in time, in ecstasy….

 

Back to earth…

 

…and all this is from the musical performance. A combination of chords that can only be explained as pure beauty, just as it was intended to be. Yes, you might dance, you might even go into a frenzy, get lost in the motions of the music, but in all this, you shall be one with it. The artists on this stage at Dagoz Bar and Artists Venue shall touch the core of your very being with their art and how they project it. Just like that lover, when they finally become one with you…

This ‘gem in the rough’ is the culmination of two individuals having an idea and seeing it to fruition. Dave Otieno and Stevo Kiwinda came up with the concept of Dagoz Bar and Artist Venue, to have artist bare themselves raw on stage, to share themselves with us mortal beings on their terms. Here, the artist is royalty, this is their zone, and luckily they allow us mere mortals to share in their space with them…and a beautiful space it is.

 

This is just but the beginning… Visit them in Dagoretti Corner, get to know the dream, what has become their reality, be a part and evolve together with them as well as the rest of the artists, experience it, appreciate it… share it.

 

“Each person comes into this world with a specific destiny–he has something to fulfil, some message has to be delivered, some work has to be completed. You are not here accidentally–you are here meaningfully. There is a purpose behind you. The whole intends to do something through you.”

― Osho

 

 

MBC

THE CULTURE OF DRESS; WHAT DOES IT SAY OF US?

“The apparel oft proclaims the man”

– William Shakespeare

I threw a random comment in the office sometime last week about a certain Kenyan celebrity’s taste in dressing to be “not with it” despite her affluent background. From what to me was initially an “innocent comment”, it ended up being a burst of argument about fashion, style and generally………dressing!

 

Try dressing like this and go to the office…

In different eras in the history of man, we have been known to dress differently, men dressed in elaborate robes at some point, the Scotts dressed in kilts (and some still do), if you believe in the Christian story of creation, man used to be naked as he went around his business – then the woman was created…I think she just couldn’t handle all the masculinity, it overwhelmed her and well you know the rest of the story. Africans tried to pick up where Adam and Eve initially left off before “the meal”, with the nudity thing but Europeans came round telling us that that was the work of the Devil and we should shun nudity – damn it! Why were we so gullible? Just think about it, with our women looking as beautiful as they have always and the “Mandingo” warrior being around, the other name for Africa would be Heaven.

 

Sorry, I’m getting carried away by images…and losing track (who wouldn’t), but just imagine a nude, masculine, well chiseled, muscle rippling body like……(fill in the blanks, 20 marks). Focus woman, focus!!!

 

What does the way we dress reveal about us as individuals?

But like the question in the beginning asks, what does the culture of dressing reveal about us? I was in a bank the other day and a thought crossed my mind, say Mr. Big has loads of money e.g. Kshs 5 million that he would like to invest in a worthy business venture. Now there are two investment brokers, X and Y, Y is dressed in a pair of jeans and a really good looking t-shirt, whereas X is in a suit from Brooks Brothers. Now the question is, why do you think Mr. Big will give his money to X? Presentation? I know at the end of the day, presentation is important but should it be everything or a large percentage of what determines a persons’ decision?

 

I think, in this day and age dressing shouldn’t be put on such a high pedestal as to be able to decide whether world war 3 will start or not, it’s just not enough. A human resources person will tell you that the best way to get positive results out of your staff isn’t to continuously push them around but to encourage them, create an environment where productivity, efficiency as well as creativity thrive and one of the ways to achieve this is to let the staff be able to express themselves adequately and as much as this might be done through clothing one needs to be able to balance this properly. If I feel that I achieve productivity best when I’m in jeans and a t-shirt then my manager needs to find a way to keep me happy. I like the American style of management where as long as one is productive and fulfilling or even surpassing their responsibilities, then dressing shouldn’t be held in such high regard. As long as I’m clean, presentable, and not naked, I think that should be good enough.

 

Back to the example of Mr. Big, he could give his money to broker X, who could turn out to be a fraudster, so what does dressing speak of us? The suit just says that he probably has good taste in clothing. You also need to understand that the dressing needs to be within reason. If I was a man who worked in a bank, I can’t go to work without a tie. It would probably cost me my job if it was happening for the third time in a row, despite me being employee of the month three months in a row. So in finality, management would rather lose a very hard working employee just because of one piece of attire. Like I say we are putting too much emphasis on the wrong things.

 

The magic words mentioned above I think are ‘within reason’. It’s ok for a lady to have dreadlocks and be a management executive but not a man in the same tier of management. As quoted in the beginning, that is more often than not the case but not in totality. Let us be careful and not let opportunities slip us by just because we choose to wear blinders. The decisions that we make in life should be supported by facts as much as possible and not just whimsical feelings that we get at the particular time of deciding.

 

Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.

– Mark Twain

MBC

MY CREATOR AND I

“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”
― Epicurus

 

I played a game of chess once against a guy who won me in six moves, yes, six moves. Then he had the audacity to ask me after that, “Another game?” Who in their right minds would say yes, well I didn’t and to date have never played against the guy, but his time will come though, not just yet, they say patience is a virtue. Anyway, here’s the twist to the narrative, what if you were – omniscient? This would simply mean that you have the capability of knowing exactly how the game would end, either with you as the winner or not. Come in capability number 2, over and above being omniscient let’s say for argument sake that you were also omnipotent. This would then give you the capability of manipulating the outcome of the game to ensure that you are victorious. Add on capability number 3, you are omnipresent, meaning you can play multiple chess games at the same time anywhere in the world. This would also mean that you can transcend time because 3 a.m. in London is not 3 a.m. in Sydney, anyway am digressing here a bit, forgive me.

As long as your god makes sense to you, that is all that matters.

I will also beg your forgiveness and ask you to think with an open mind, just for a bit (at least for those who are not open-minded). Now that you are all knowing, all powerful and time and space, you cannot lose a chess game or multiple chess games for that matter. I am thinking from a layman’s point of view so feel free to correct me if I stray too much from the path (whichever that path may be). You might be asking yourself where I’m heading with this but therein lies the rub. If God is all these things and more, doesn’t he already know how this play called life will end or if it will? More importantly, when this play began He must have known that Eve would partake of the fruit and so on and so forth, that He would send his son, He would raise him from the dead after 3 days et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

 

With all these odds stacked up as they are, do we really have a chance on this chess board called life or are we just actors in a play who have been given a role to play and deviation from the script is unimaginable? One tends to think that we are more of guinea pigs in this intricate lab we like to call life and if not then there is a chance that we could, just maybe, overcome the “Master Scientist” and take over our own lives. Have the right to control our own destiny. But then again we would probably create the possibility of raising another entity that will control us because think of it, 7.7 billion of us thinking independently and wanting to forge our own path in life – it would be utter chaos. Daddy tells mummy to do one thing but mummy says no and does it her own way, not to mention their child who as all children think, that the folks aren’t with it, they don’t know what life’s about therefore clearly can’t be given the chance to purport that they know.

 

So, is God an idea or does He really exist? Where is He? How did He come into being? Is He a necessary idea to keep some form of order in life? And, if so who came up with the idea?

 

To the first question, I can answer yes, and in both senses. Society cannot survive without some semblance of order, however, you decide to define this order. When it comes to God, the moment an individual tries to engage the supernatural logically the whole argument starts to implode on itself. Logically two fish and five loaves of bread cannot be able to feed 5,000 people or an individual to be raised after being dead for 72 hours. Today people have been miraculously healed after being diagnosed with terminal illnesses, some happenings cannot be explained using fact or science or logic, they just happen. Some people call it magic, others deny it happened, others call them miracles, others say it’s mysticism. They will most likely be attributed to a greater being than ourselves, one not on the same plane of being such as us mere mortals.

 

Ever wondered if the Bible is God’s message to mankind, why did it have to end at Revelations. Has He stopped inspiring people to tell us what His will for us is in the Bible? I like the Apostle’s Creed, towards the end it says;

 

…I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Holy Catholic church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the Life everlasting. Amen.

 

What I like about this is that it is not stating as fact. The person saying the prayer is reaffirming that they ‘believe’. This implies faith. If it was fact then it really does not matter whether one accepts or not, the fact of the matter will still stand.

 

Human beings, I would like to believe have this innate sense where they can be able to differentiate between good and evil. Having said that, I do believe there is a Supreme Being, a Creator. Who or what this entity is, I cannot clearly explain to you. What this Creator is to me, might not necessarily be the same thing to the next person, therefore our relationship is personal and I do not need anyone else to define that to me.

 

“Religion is like a pair of shoes…..Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.”
― George Carlin

 

MBC

HER MAJESTY & THE THREE SISTERS

I have recently been in the presence of royalty.

Have you ever been under the influence… when the feeling is so surreal… you’re levitating weightlessly in-between this world and the next… nothing else exists but that feeling. I used to think those were lines in books I read and scenes in movies I watched, but I experienced it, and continue to.

Despite dancing with demons, Her Majesty always stands tall in her court.

Let me endeavor to paint you a picture of the court and its most significant courtiers…

Closest to Her Majesty are the Cup Bearer, the Lady-in-Waiting and the Maid of Honour – all sisters. They have Her Majesty’s ear, they influence her decision making – dressing, speech, dealings with other courtiers, kingdoms, etc, etc… So, if you’re in their good books, you’re most likely in Her Majesty’s as well. Though it’s not a given, chances are high.

…and then there’s Her Majesty…

She isn’t too tall, she’s actually short (my head could be had for saying that), but what she doesn’t have in height is covered for in her character and beauty, and my, is she beautiful. Her unblemished soft and supple skin radiates with an inviting fervor. Her warm smile and aura are sincere, to say the least. Her long draping hair falls perfectly on her narrow shoulders as though every strand was ideally meant to be just where it is – perfection cannot be perfected on. She has an innocent, captivating even playful child-like presence, one that you cannot ignore. When she steps into her court, you will feel her charisma, she comes in with a certain radiance about her that is unmatched and only she possesses. She is royalty but at the same time approachable, a subtle style with a sexy disposition, she is a caring, loving spirit and is extremely passionate about what she believes in. And in all this, there is an impious side to her essence, but it all balances out in the bigger picture – there’s a method to the madness.

Now the sisters look from afar, they never show themselves, always in the periphery, the background, the sidelines, not seen and not heard, but always whispering to Her Majesty, always pulling strings… So, this individual had been noticed in court. They knew of him and about him. A relatively tall gentleman, fairly light skinned, a lean physical look, with a dotted beard, but a lovely goatie, dreadlocks to suit and a dazzling smile that could blind.

You see how he was noticed…

It, therefore, got to a time that Her Majesty had to attend a ball – a royal ball. But she had no one to accompany her. Remember how there was a method to the madness… and in their wise, behind-the-scenes counsel, the three sisters sought to advise Her Majesty to show up for the ball with an ‘unknown’. The reason was it wouldn’t raise any hopes or mislead any souls in the court. This is the royal court, and everything is a power-play of sorts, so care and diplomacy must be accompanied with every decision.

Therefore, in comes this lowly, loyal subject, with no title, no lands to speak of, and a hard worker. All he had to his name was his honesty, his stand-up character, humorous nature, open-mindedness, and what you saw is what you got.

Moving on, in this prose this subject didn’t even know there was a ball to be attended (such news didn’t reach his level in society, and if it did, it would be history). But counsel had been given, thus Her Majesty summoned this subject, and after some friendly sword-play, Her Majesty stated what was expected of this loyal subject. It was done so because Her Majesty cannot ask, the implications would be catastrophic would she be turned down. But who in their right, or even wrong mind would turn down royalty? You? You’re probably alone…

The ball, as every ball is, had a dress code, which this subject undertook to fit into. He winged it quite well. On that particular night, the stars had aligned and the gods were smiling down on the subject, and this was the beginning of a beautiful thing between Her Majesty and her subject. They have never looked back since; they just question why they hadn’t met sooner. But I guess everything in its own time, and you cannot rush fate.

The connection has been an unmatched experience, an exhilaration of the heart, a sublime feeling, beautiful in every way possible, known and unknown. It will definitely have its challenges… I mean, this is the royal court, there always will be a whisper, rumor, and innuendo here and there, and from time to time. But the storm shall be weathered…

This is my experience in the presence of royalty. Words fail me in my explanation (they can only go so far and do so much), but the feeling persists, which is all I need…

 

MBC

IS ‘WINTER’ REALLY COMING?

“One has not only a legal, but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws.”

– Martin  Luther King Jr.

Civil disobedience, is the active, professed refusal of a citizen(s) to obey certain laws, demands, orders or commands of a government or occupying power. Christian Bay’s encyclopedia article states that civil disobedience requires “carefully chosen and legitimate means,” but holds that they do not have to be non-violent.

 

Civil disobedience or what I choose to call ‘winter’, has happened all over the world, in all walks of life, developed to undeveloped countries, from democracies to dictatorships, and through the ages. The fact is if the ruling class takes unfair advantage of the masses, the people will rise against them. Mahatma Gandhi’s non-violent civil disobedience in India, the same in South Africa led by Nelson Mandela, in the USA by Rosa Parks, Dr Martin Luther King Jnr. et al., there was even “Drink a pint in a pub” (Irish Feminism) and many more.

 

Therefore, has ‘winter’ come for Kenyans? Has the reckoning come? Is it time to rise up and in unison make our abhorrence known? Or is everything still fine and dandy? Never mind that our public debt is 56.4% of the GDP, there’s a staggeringly high public wage bill, astronomical amounts being looted from public coffers through corruption but zero convictions (but never mind, at least there are still no sacred cows…), people carrying cash in sacks from banks, others stashing them in walls, farmers not getting paid on time… lakini, ‘bora uhai’, oh! and I almost forgot, two friends, shook hands… so that should make it all ok.

Is winter really coming?

Kenyans should understand that they are the government, that they have the power.

 

“The power of the people is much stronger than the people in power”

― Wael Ghonim

 

If the representatives the people put in their stead are not fulfilling their wishes, the people can forthwith dispatch them from office, and they do not have to wait for a five-year term to end. We must learn to look out for our best interests, choose leaders and not financial gluttons whose only agenda is ‘me, myself and I’. We must stop being taken for a ride, we must learn to ask the difficult and important questions when the campaigns come about. Did the incumbents fulfil their promises, if so, to what extent, if not do we really need them back? Their competitors, who are they, what is their history, do we think they’ll do a better job and if so why? Choosing leaders needs to be based on ideology.

 

The electorate needs to be more aware, more educated on political processes and do this without bias. It is our responsibility to be knowledgeable about systems of government. This will enable us to be more critical of our leaders and subsequently have public servants be and do what they signed up for – serve the people. We must always learn to question, never accept the status as is, until you understand it to your satisfaction. Kuuliza sio ujinga, (asking is not stupidity). Public participation is key to know what the government and their representatives are up to.

 

We as a people must keep vigil at all times, and expect nothing but the best from our leaders at all times. It is said that people get the leaders they deserve. Do the Kenyan people have the leaders they deserve or is winter coming?

 

“People shouldn’t be afraid of their government. Governments should be afraid of their people.”

― Alan Moore

 

MBC

THE RESPONSIBILITY THAT IS DEMOCRACY

“Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.”

 ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer

A government of the people, by the people and for the people. This, in a nutshell, is the best definition of what democracy is. But I think we as Kenyans have lost sight of what it comes along with. In relation it is said, giving birth isn’t the difficult job but the raising of the child. In most cases, take example Kenya, we adopted democracy because our colonial masters probably said that this is the right way to go. If we were truly independent then we could have reverted to the system of leadership that our colonial masters found when they first visited; it worked then. The sense of community of the system of life back then was key when it came to the system of governing. There was either a group of elders or a king who was looked up to as the leader(s). I’m not saying it was perfect but, it worked and in my opinion better than democracy.

Do we need democracy & if not, then what will take its place?

Given the definition of what democracy is and in an ideal situation one can say that it is probably the best system of government there is. Everyone has a say in how they are governed instead of leaving that responsibility to a few individual(s) who govern as they will. What is disconcerting is the fact that I think Kenyans have not taken to heart the responsibility that democracy comes with. All we know of it is lining up after every five years to choose our leaders and if they fall short of our glory all we do is a lot of talking with less action. Now I’m not saying that talking is bad, only that I think we do too much of it and it is time to take action, but what kind of action? That is the question that arises.

Are we ready to bear the responsibility & do we know what it is?

President Obama seems to think so, but he’s just one man, what does he know? Especially, when the people we elect to be our leaders, in a matter of speaking go to the ‘bank’ to borrow Kshs 227 billion (2016 budget projections) while they cannot account for Kshs 67 billion (2013 – 2014 budget). In other words, that figure is close to 30% of what we want to borrow. It’s a vicious cycle, borrow, waste, borrow, waste, borrow, waste, borrow…(you get the point). But what do we expect of people who are not directly responsible for their decisions? Leaders who think the country owes them a ‘debt’, instead of thinking in reverse. Getting to parliament or the senate was always a business deal, an investment that needs to give returns and surpass them within 5 years.

Keeping hope alive for Kenyans.

The 2017 General Elections are over and as the winners take their rightful positions of leadership, our civic duty did not end on the day we voted. Have you heard of public participation? It is enshrined in law under Articles 118(1)(b) and 196(1)(b), which directs the National and County Legislatures respectively to “facilitate public participation” in its work. Also, Article 119(1) states that citizens have the “right to petition Parliament to consider any matter within its authority”. In other words, public participation. This is the responsibility that falls on the electorate, but we mostly tell ourselves that we are too busy and by the way, “Why did we hire this fellow in the first place?” The electorate must take more interest in how we are governed; we end up paying, literally, for mistakes that our leaders make. Therefore, we must be more active and play our role in this performance called, ‘Democracy’. Keep hope alive, always, let us not fall into this pit that defines the ‘Kenyan situation’ as ‘this is how it usually is’. Learn to be an idealist and always fight for it.

“Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so.”

― Naom Chomsky

 

MBC

RELIGION BE DAMNED

“The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.”

― Mark Twain

Ever gone to a doctor and having been given a diagnosis still decide to go and seek a second opinion? Alternatively, have you taken your car to the mechanic and for as many different mechanics that you visit you will probably get as many varied opinions as to what is wrong with your car? Same thing with electricians, but I think the people who top this list are the men and women of the cloth. One verse in a ‘holy’ book can have 18 different interpretations and it’s just a verse saying, “Jesus wept.”

The Oxford English Dictionary defines the word religion as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal god or gods. I put emphasis on the word ‘personal’. At this point the story in the Christian Holy Bible of the curtain tearing in the temple comes to mind, Hebrews 10: 19 – 20. Basically, what I’m saying is the way to the Father was cleared for us and we do not need to go through any man to get to the Father. But at the end of the day this is if one subscribes to the Christian faith. The root of the word Islam in essence means submission to the will of Allah. It also subscribes to the tenets of peace, purity and unity. Funny enough Christianity and Islam both more-or-less have the same root, both the Quran and Bible overlap in a good number of their stories and the characters mentioned.

But this is not about one religion in comparison to another or the ‘merits’ or ‘demerits’ of one over the other at the end of the day it’s a matter of personal faith. A question I’d like to pose is, why religion and who came up with the whole idea of religion in the first place? Mahatma Gandhi once said, “God has no religion.” Beautiful words and if God was there before time, was the prophet Moses a Christian, was King David a Christian, did Abraham follow the doctrines of Christianity? And if they did, what was it referred to as before Christ or did Christianity just start after Jesus begun his ministry at the age of 30? Besides, the coming of Jesus had been prophesied of in the Old Testament. What I’m trying to get at here is that religion is a totally man-made creation. It might have good intentions in the onset, but the fact that it is the works of creatures who have fallen short of the Most High’s glory, and this goes for a majority of the ‘religions’, makes it questionable. But why still insist on ‘religion’? When it comes to matters of faith and belief I would like to incline more on the side of atheists who think that religion is more of a greater hurt to the community than it is a positive thing.

The Crusades were begun in the 11^th century, all in the name of God and continued all the way to the 15^th century some historians record. The Jihads on the side of the Muslims were no better. All in all, blood was shed and a lot of it. Lives of men, women and children were lost, all in the name of this supernatural power that we believe is all powerful, all knowing and all present.

In 2013, in Central Burma, Buddhists were committing acts of violence against Muslims, all under a religious front killing and maiming innocent people even though according to their precepts they teach no killing, no stealing, no sexual misconduct, no lying and no intoxicants and these precepts were passed down from Buddha himself. It’s a shame how man interprets religious tenets to suite his or her own path or ends.

This is my resolution, as long as there is this thing called religion in whatever form or shape you might want to define it, some individual somewhere on earth will always find ways of perverting its teachings to suite what they ‘think’ is being communicated. Here they will say that the Lord, Allah, the Spirit or whatever they would like to define ‘It’ as appeared to them in a dream or they had some encounter and ‘It’ said, “This is how it MUST be”. Voltaire, the French philosopher once wrote, “Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.” We as humanity must be more vigilant, we must ask the difficult questions and demand answers. In this way we shall be able to weed out these individuals who want to deceive us into bringing an end to this well balanced way of life that we have grown accustomed to. There are always downs but there are ups as well.

So damn religion in all its forms and more so damn those who interpret it in a selfish manner to suite their own ends and finally and most important damn those of us who accept to be deceived by those egotistical individuals claiming to be messengers of the ‘Master’. And like it is written in the Bible, the curtain in the temple tore and also Allah is the Most Gracious and Most Merciful.

“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.”

― Dalai Lama XIV

 

MBC