Archive for the ‘Human Rights,’ Category

“I’m trying to hold back my emotions, but I can feel my face contorting. That strange heat moving to my cheeks. I always thought it was magic moving through me, but now I know it to be rage.” 

 ― Kim Liggett

The Badge

When pinned on someone, this is a heavy badge to wear, especially when one knows that the title does not fit them. The badge is clearly not one of honour and I do not wish it on my worst of enemies. But worn it must. For you, I shall let you make the choice on your own volition but will attempt to lay the facts bare as I understand them.

In wearing the badge, I do understand the questionable nature of stating that men are misogynistic. The argument may be deemed unsound if we look at the credibility of the sample survey. I mean in a world population of 7.8 billion people, viewing 50.4% of them through the same dark lens could raise an issue. Especially, how the conclusion was arrived at.

Photo by Matej from Pexels

False Perfection

Let me attempt to explain. Have you ever come into the presence of perfection? This person, I mean this person is just right. Then you notice that their clothing has the tiniest ink-blot, or there’s a scar on the back of their head, or one of their shoe-lace is untied, or when they passed by you there was an uncomfortable whiff in the air, or they didn’t smile back at you when you did. Now before this point, everything was “perfect”, everything else but that one thing. And for that one thing, the house of cards came tumbling down… the person didn’t deserve a second look, not a hallo, or another smile. How sad, maybe they were the one… We shall never know.

This is what happens when one arrives at a conclusion without considering all the relevant information. Now please allow me to insist that I am not trying to justify a situation. I am just stating that it would be proper to consider a body of information before forming an opinion, one with finality.

Stinging Truths

Initially, I had implied that viewing 3.9 billion men through the same dark lens was unfair. Isn’t the blemish just a small part of the whole and therefore condemning the whole would be a wee bit too excessive? But then again, is it? Look at the statistics. If it’s violence against women, or the economic gender gap, or education gender gap and so on, the scales are unfairly uneven towards women. They are so uneven that the Global Gender Gap Report 2020 stated that.

“None of us will see gender parity in our lifetimes, and nor likely will many of our children. That’s the sobering finding of the Global Gender Gap Report 2020, which reveals that gender parity will not be attained for 99.5 years.”

In a  McKinsey Global Institute (MGI) report in 2015, it was found that $12 trillion (the combined GDP of Japan, Germany and the United Kingdom) could be added to global GDP by 2025. How you might ask? By advancing women’s equality. Don’t just talk the talk, walk it as well. Walk it by ensuring that the public, private and social sectors act and work together to close the gender gaps in work and society.

Pretty straightforward isn’t it?

I thought so too… to the extent that the same report, stated that companies that were gender and ethnically diverse outperformed their peers. Therefore, let’s look at this from a purely business perspective. The more women there are in positions of power and influence, the better for EVERYONE. And not just positions of power and influence, but the more women work, the more economies grow.

The Scraps Table

So, why is it not happening?

I mean there it is, in black and white, bare for all to see and with the numbers to back it up. But women are still eating from the scraps table. According to a UN report, “The World’s Women 2020: Trends and Statistics”, below 50% of working-age women are in the labour market. In the past 25 years, this figure has barely changed. The report also states that women held only 28% of managerial positions globally in 2019. The figure has barely changed since 1995 – a whole 14 years. In 2020, only 18% of enterprises sampled had a female CEO. When it comes to the Fortune 500 corporations, only 7.4% or 37 CEOs were women (out of 500 companies).

In politics, women representation in parliament has doubled globally. But it has still not crossed the 25% barrier in 2020. For cabinet positions, the number has quadrupled over the last 25 years, yet remains well below the parity of 22%. In the Kenyan parliament, the two-thirds gender rule has still not been passed to an extent where the outgoing Chief Justice wrote to the President requesting him to dissolve parliament for not passing the bill into law. When it comes to women representation, Rwanda leads regionally and globally with 61%, Tanzania and Burundi 36%, Uganda 34%, South Sudan 28.5% and Kenya lags behind at 23.5%.

Therefore…

These findings cannot be nullified. Economists will tell you with equality, efficiency is not far behind. There is a direct correlation. In all instances where the gender gap from whatever angle one views it from has been bridged, the economy and society in general benefits.

So the problem then seems to be more of a social one. Our understanding, men’s understanding of who women are and their place in society from our own upbringing, personal prejudices and so on has caused us to fuck shit up! And even now, with all the information that disproves men’s thinking of women, we still want to live in the past, stuck in our way of thinking and our prejudices. It baffles me.

Women are so much more than this individual one places in a box. She could be a doctor, an engineer, a singer, an astronaut, a lawyer, a mother…but she will be seen as a woman, just woman. There was a TV interview in the 1960s, a gentleman was asked about what he has that he cherishes the most, and he answered, his horse, three dogs and his wife. The interviewer asked him to reconsider his pecking order and the man was adamant and insisted that he loves his horse very much. His wife immediately got up and walked off the stage.

The Breaking Point

Now there are good men out there, but the rot seems to have spread to all the apples in the basket – all 3.9 billion of them. Or has it? Is this the case of the “perfect” person with an ink-blot on their clothing and therefore for this reason not deserving a second look?

So, maybe by wearing this badge of dishonour, the good men, the real men will feel the pinch, the bite, the incessant tearing into their conscience to constantly work at proving to themselves and others that they are no rapist, not violent to other human beings and are not close-minded misogynistic assholes. Because, when their children look at them, they will see the respect that they as fathers show their mothers. And even if disagreements do crop up, they aren’t based on the fact that her mothers are women. Or when men speak to the barmaids, they will respect them as fellow human beings working to put food on their table and not women with an agenda to loot from the men. And each interaction between a man and a woman, I will take in its individuality and never generalized to all women simply because it happened between two individuals.

If men (forgive me for the generalization, but we made our own bed) continue along this close-minded path, only death and destruction awaits us all. Therefore, the choices men make now on how we relate to, think of and act towards women will define our humanity as we know it.

I have made the right choice. Don’t take too long to do the right thing.

…The whole world sitting on a ticking bomb

The sun may never rise again

The sun may never rise again

The sun may never rise again

 The question ain’t if but when

 The sea will mourn, the sky will fall

 The sun may never rise again

 The silent war has begun

 We’re staring down a loaded gun

 No refuge found no solid ground

 Assuming race can’t be won

 Don’t wait to say goodbye, you’re running out of time

 Whatever you believe, it’s easy to see

The whole world sitting on a ticking bomb…

 Aloe Blacc

“Women have served all these centuries as looking glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man at twice its natural size.”

― Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own

Photo by Lucxama Sylvain from Pexels

Woman and man! What is it that makes a considerable number of us view each other with such contempt, such mistrust, and such anger? Is it possible that men are being that thing that defines them physically, and just don’t want to listen?

A man and a woman meet up at some joint. They enjoy each other’s company. Overtures, we assume are exchanged. A consenting understanding is arrived at and for us as outsiders; the rest is none of our business. I mean they are grown-ups. Whatever happens after an understanding is reached would probably have remained just that – none of our business. But something unexpected happens. The woman succumbs to unexplainable injuries…

I was watching a video once. It spoke of the thin line between advocating for an issue, vis-à-vis what may be termed as subjective criticism against the same. It’s the clamor to buy Kenya, build Kenya but at the same time rubbishing the product for its “low quality”.

Everyone has the right to express their opinion. What individuals fail to understand is that a right does not exist in a vacuum. Rights and duties go side by side. They are two sides of the same coin. You have the right to life, but it is the duty of others to respect your life and not cause any harm to you.

So, back to the man, the woman and unexplainable injuries…

In the advent of social media, every Tom, Betty, Dick, Sally, Jane, and Harry has a platform to shout their opinions from the mountain-top. Shout, yes it is your right, but as you do so don’t forget your duty to take the other person’s feelings, circumstances, reasoning, history among other factors into consideration. This has to be done before spewing out unconsidered, narrow-minded, selfish statements; utterances that may aggrieve. Remarks that may cause another person to feel less, unimportant, assumed, meaningless, petty even…

On social media (and generally in life as it is), there were differing opinions about the individuals in question. Some were of the opinion that the lady brought the alleged attack on herself. She was a walking, talking billboard of sexual connotation, advances, and innuendo. Others argued that even with an actual billboard, the ultimate decision on whether to partake of a product lies with the individual being advertised to (if that was the case). The man MAKES the DECISION. So, how then is it the responsibility of the ‘billboard’ on the actions of the partaking of the product?

Remember the Malboro man? Do you blame him for having a habit of smoking? Oh! I know, held a gun to your mother’s head threatening to blow her brains out if you didn’t pick the habit…

Just  classic, blame everyone else except yourself.

Other arguments still view women as inferior to men, therefore having no actual rights. Hence, having no rights, the particular outcome of any abuse to a woman is of no consequence to the man. Alternatively, there are arguments that a woman has rights and can exercise them as she wishes. She can lead a man on, but at the point just before sex, if she says no, it’s no. It could be for WHATEVER reason (you unbuttoned your shirt wrong, you have a torn left sock, your manhood could be tiny – God forbid!). But her decision should be respected.

Being pissed for the man is an understatement of awesome proportions at this point. But still – RESPECT and ACCEPT the lady’s choice. Live to sweet-talk another day, get a new pair of socks, be creative…

The arguments for and against the respect, acknowledgment, rights of women have been as old as time. The question is why haven’t things changed? I think the answer is that man hasn’t changed. And this is the penis bearing type, not the general type used to refer to both male and female.

So, man just don’t wanna listen. He’s been at the head of the table for eons. But circumstances are changing, the tables are turning, and he just doesn’t know what to do. So, he’s acting out (yes he is)… I think he’s lucky nonetheless; women just want recognition, respect, acknowledgment, equality, equity… And you’d think it isn’t too much to ask for. But noooo! Penis-wielding man is being a dick about it (as always). Coming up with unfounded arguments and statements like: she was asking for ‘it’ (whatever ‘it’ was), she can’t do the job because she’s a woman, I (man) bought her dinner and drinks, she slept her way to the top, what will happen to her position when she’s pregnant and goes for maternity leave and the excuses are endless.

If man just considered that what women want is to be seen as, looked at, and referred to as man’s complementary and in a respectful manner, life would be a cool breeze on a hot summer day. Woman doesn’t want to be a competitor, she isn’t property, and her only purpose in life isn’t to fulfill man’s needs. She wants to live as she chooses. She wants control over her body, to express herself as she pleases, give birth when she chooses, fuck whomever, work like a horse to fulfill her dreams, marry the true love of her life, go to school and so, so, so much more. She wants all these things without being judged on how she isn’t meant to do this or that because that’s not the way, or women aren’t supposed to do that, or what will people say…

She is tired! And has been for a long long time…

So, men, how do we fix this? How do we get to make us to respect woman?

When we look and interact with her, let us not see a woman, but a HUMAN BEING. Don’t look at her and respect her because she is your mother, grandmother, your wife, your barmaid, daughter, niece, your lover, the woman who sells you vegetables, and a whole host of women you have a direct relationship with. No! You respect ALL WOMEN simply because they are human beings and they deserve your respect.

If one of them was dressed in a manner you feel wasn’t respectable, or spoke to you out of tone, or drunk all your money and didn’t have sex with you or you feel was promoted because she slept with the boss, etc… Talk to her, not at her. Have a CONVERSATION WITH her, LISTEN (I mean really listen to her) to what she tells you. Do not impose your opinion on her. Try to convince her by force of reason, not through reason of force. Also, be open to agreeing to disagree. Besides she is entitled to live her choice and who knows, you just might be convinced to see things her way.

Will it be easy? Hell no! But in every instance, always take a pause, try and really, really, I mean really see things from the other person’s point of view. Does it make sense? Is one or a couple of incidences being used as an excuse to give a blanket conclusion for all similar situations? And when we men (dick guys), come up against instances where women are being disrespected by other dick-bearing individuals, we have a responsibility. We MUST speak out and let those men know that that is no way to treat a woman; they are human beings and hence are deserving of respect, regardless.

 “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”

― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre